he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
