I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
