i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
