Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
