time to smoke my breakfast
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
