her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I'm really busy with my period
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