ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
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I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
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10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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