Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
