My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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