I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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