Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
