And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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