Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
