Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want to fling myself into the sun
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
