She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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