so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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