wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
