oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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