According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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