After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Semen is not good for contacts.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
