sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
