Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
