Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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