hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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