And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize