i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
