I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
