Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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