Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How naked do you want me to be?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
