drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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