He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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