real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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