dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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