Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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