When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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