Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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