i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
