Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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