So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
