Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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