I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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