Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize