I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
