Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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