Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
