I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
areolas are like halos for boobs.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
