Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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