I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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