there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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