I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
