...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
