You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
