dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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