Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
