You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
