he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i dont even know how to be here
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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