hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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