why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Even my vagina gasped.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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