The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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