Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
