You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You made out with two different species that night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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